i want to be a nurse in africa ... or a ballerina




Beauty


posted by Jenn

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Two years ago, Africa changed me. It changed the way I thought about what it means to be human. Perhaps at the time, I thought the change was like a one-time graduation from naivety to enlightenment. It seems however, that as so many before me have cautioned, learning really is a never-ending journey.

These last couple of weeks, one of our patients - an absolutely delightful little girl named Tani - has completely changed the way I think about beauty.

Physical beauty is one of those forces whose power over us we hate to admit. When you stop and think about it, basing our opinions of one another on a somewhat arbitrary criterion such as beauty seems not only superficial, but also simplistic and downright cruel. However, the unfortunate reality is that it does have a very significant impact on our interpersonal relations. We are innately attracted to beauty. It’s one of the reasons we do what we do here on the Africa Mercy….Because eliminating a feature that is grossly deforming means that a person can go from living a life of disgrace to living a life of acceptance.

Tani came to stay with us around the same time as Aissa was on the ward. I distinctly remember my first day with her. I came on for my charge shift and one of the first things Ali said to me was “
Check out bed 8. She’s beautiful. You’re gonna love her!”

I turned my attention to the new little girl in bed 8. Tani didn’t look beautiful to me. Having been in West Africa for a little while now, and seeing what I hope are some of the most disfiguring cases out there, I credit myself with having some degree of tolerance for the worst of it. I would like to think it takes a lot to shock me at this point. But, Tani did.

Though nobody really knows the story of when or how, at some point in her 9-years of life, Tani’s face was burned off. She was left with bits of a mouth, and one eye. Though most of her little body was spared, one of her hands, which she probably used to catch herself when she fell into the fire, was left mangled. To be completely brutal, at first glance, Tani was hard to look at.

Until my experiences with this little one, I don’t know if I ever truly believed that beauty comes from within. It always sounded nice, and makes us all feel better about our imperfections, but then again, we make stuff up all the time to make ourselves feel better. But, Tani made it real for me, because my friend was right. Within 5 minutes of encountering Tani, I absolutely loved her. I like kids, as a rule, but Tani has a special quality within her that is unmatched. She makes it absolutely impossible to see anything but her inner beauty. Every day I spend with Tani, she grows more and more radiant. Her loving, joyful spirit can almost not be contained within her tiny little body.

Looking at her, you would expect that she would repulse others, but Tani cannot help but do exactly the opposite. Her presence is actually magnetic on the ship. Our head chef came up from the ward last night and announced:

I just spent 10 minutes playing with Tani. It changed my life.

It probably did. And it defies everything I used to think about beauty. Because Tani has a beauty that is legitimate, undeniable, and worth so much more than I could have ever realized without her.

Two years ago, Africa changed me. It changed the way I thought about what it means to be human. Perhaps at the time, I thought the change was like a one-time graduation from naivety to enlightenment. It seems however, that as so many before me have cautioned, learning really is a never-ending journey.

These last couple of weeks, one of our patients - an absolutely delightful little girl named Tani - has completely changed the way I think about beauty.

Physical beauty is one of those forces whose power over us we hate to admit. When you stop and think about it, basing our opinions of one another on a somewhat arbitrary criterion such as beauty seems not only superficial, but also simplistic and downright cruel. However, the unfortunate reality is that it does have a very significant impact on our interpersonal relations. We are innately attracted to beauty. It’s one of the reasons we do what we do here on the Africa Mercy….Because eliminating a feature that is grossly deforming means that a person can go from living a life of disgrace to living a life of acceptance.

Tani came to stay with us around the same time as Aissa was on the ward. I distinctly remember my first day with her. I came on for my charge shift and one of the first things Ali said to me was “
Check out bed 8. She’s beautiful. You’re gonna love her!”

I turned my attention to the new little girl in bed 8. Tani didn’t look beautiful to me. Having been in West Africa for a little while now, and seeing what I hope are some of the most disfiguring cases out there, I credit myself with having some degree of tolerance for the worst of it. I would like to think it takes a lot to shock me at this point. But, Tani did.

Though nobody really knows the story of when or how, at some point in her 9-years of life, Tani’s face was burned off. She was left with bits of a mouth, and one eye. Though most of her little body was spared, one of her hands, which she probably used to catch herself when she fell into the fire, was left mangled. To be completely brutal, at first glance, Tani was hard to look at.

Until my experiences with this little one, I don’t know if I ever truly believed that beauty comes from within. It always sounded nice, and makes us all feel better about our imperfections, but then again, we make stuff up all the time to make ourselves feel better. But, Tani made it real for me, because my friend was right. Within 5 minutes of encountering Tani, I absolutely loved her. I like kids, as a rule, but Tani has a special quality within her that is unmatched. She makes it absolutely impossible to see anything but her inner beauty. Every day I spend with Tani, she grows more and more radiant. Her loving, joyful spirit can almost not be contained within her tiny little body.

Looking at her, you would expect that she would repulse others, but Tani cannot help but do exactly the opposite. Her presence is actually magnetic on the ship. Our head chef came up from the ward last night and announced:

I just spent 10 minutes playing with Tani. It changed my life.

It probably did. And it defies everything I used to think about beauty. Because Tani has a beauty that is legitimate, undeniable, and worth so much more than I could have ever realized without her.