I’ve always been pretty proud of my resume. One of my life’s biggest confessions is actually that I look a lot better on paper. Seriously. I have being toiling with the idea of going on "The Bachelor" for quite some time now, for the sole purpose that it would make my resume more diverse.
The majority of the time, I am overwhelmingly content with the path that my life has traveled down. With some degree of regret, I will admit that there are times when I even feel proud of my accomplishments. And, if I am being perfectly honest, most of that has less to do with academics and career than it does with the whimsical nuance and overall philosophy which infuses the majority of my decision making and social interactions. I like climbing mountains that are clearly too big. I like jumping in without being totally aware of what the water is like. I like having a story that no one else has.
Most of the time, it is enough.
Which is why days like today and feelings like this always throw me for a freaking loop.
There’s no real explanation for why it happened today. No particular critical incident. Maybe it was too many consecutive night shifts and my defenses are just low. Maybe it’s too many muscle relaxants. Or maybe it is just the reality of my resume and what deep down I know it lacks.
Because today, being a nurse, a best friend, a coworker, an aunt, a daughter, a sister, a disciple of the God of the universe, and an all-round fabulous person didn’t really seem to cut it for me. The things that were missing seemed so much bigger and more important. And, I am not even implying that I want a house, a husband, 2.5 babies, a puppy, a dishwasher, a winning 649 ticket, more expensive clothes, a personal chef, and a white picket fence. Given the option, I would pass on most of those. But today, given the option, there are a few that would entice me into a second glance.
I know it all comes with a price. I know it. I know that the life God has given me is mine and it’s mine because it is what he knows is best for me, right now. I know it. I know that when presented with this particular hypothetical fork in the road, 363 days of the year, I would chose the path I have chosen. And that my particular road less traveled is the only road where I can experience God’s true desire for me.
Unfortunately, every once in a while, knowing doesn’t make what is usually enough feel like anything close to enough.
posted by Jenn on resume, the Bachelorette
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I’ve always been pretty proud of my resume. One of my life’s biggest confessions is actually that I look a lot better on paper. Seriously. I have being toiling with the idea of going on "The Bachelor" for quite some time now, for the sole purpose that it would make my resume more diverse.
The majority of the time, I am overwhelmingly content with the path that my life has traveled down. With some degree of regret, I will admit that there are times when I even feel proud of my accomplishments. And, if I am being perfectly honest, most of that has less to do with academics and career than it does with the whimsical nuance and overall philosophy which infuses the majority of my decision making and social interactions. I like climbing mountains that are clearly too big. I like jumping in without being totally aware of what the water is like. I like having a story that no one else has.
Most of the time, it is enough.
Which is why days like today and feelings like this always throw me for a freaking loop.
There’s no real explanation for why it happened today. No particular critical incident. Maybe it was too many consecutive night shifts and my defenses are just low. Maybe it’s too many muscle relaxants. Or maybe it is just the reality of my resume and what deep down I know it lacks.
Because today, being a nurse, a best friend, a coworker, an aunt, a daughter, a sister, a disciple of the God of the universe, and an all-round fabulous person didn’t really seem to cut it for me. The things that were missing seemed so much bigger and more important. And, I am not even implying that I want a house, a husband, 2.5 babies, a puppy, a dishwasher, a winning 649 ticket, more expensive clothes, a personal chef, and a white picket fence. Given the option, I would pass on most of those. But today, given the option, there are a few that would entice me into a second glance.
I know it all comes with a price. I know it. I know that the life God has given me is mine and it’s mine because it is what he knows is best for me, right now. I know it. I know that when presented with this particular hypothetical fork in the road, 363 days of the year, I would chose the path I have chosen. And that my particular road less traveled is the only road where I can experience God’s true desire for me.
Unfortunately, every once in a while, knowing doesn’t make what is usually enough feel like anything close to enough.
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